5 Things I Hate About Christianity

*Gasp.*   She used the 'H' word!!!

Yep, I sure did, Baby. Don't tell me you haven't got your own little list tucked away in your mind (maybe your subconscious). It may be shorter (or longer. Much, much longer...) but I bet it's there!

Yes, by the way, I did steal the title from the film '10 Things I Hate About You'. I noticed it on one of the Sky movie channels and it triggered a bit of thinking.... and here we are. 'Hate' is a bit strong, to be honest, but why be pedantic and miss out on a good title?

Let's make one thing really clear before I clamber up on my soapbox with the help of a winch. Disliking an aspect of Christianity does not mean that I've suddenly decided to burn my Bible and become a devotee of the trident wielding one.

It just means that there are things that, for some reason, seem to have adhered themselves to being a Christian, like gum stuck on the bottom of your shoes (of the gospel of peace. See what I did there? No? Go read Ephesians, ya heathen!)- and some of those things really tick me off. To be fair, they're the bizarre set of rules or behaviours we seem to adopt or tolerate in the 'Christian' life rather than Christianity itself.

You'll see what I mean. (I fully intend to repent of my judgmental attitude later, ok? ) 

Mesdames et Messieurs- let me introduce you to, in no particular order:

The Official Wearing A Fish List Of Things That Suck About Christianity 

(Catchy title, huh?)

1. Parlez vous Christianese?  

 Is there a place that you're meant to go when you become a Christian, where you sit down with an old 1990s copy of Woman's Weekly and a deli- type ticket with your number on and wait your turn to enter the Room Of Lingo? Was I meant to go along and get a language chip put inside my head? If so, I missed my appointment! 

When was it decided that otherwise normal, sane people should suddenly start using all these weird cliched expressions on finding Jesus and really just seeing if the Lord will open the door on that course of action and just really take it to the Lord in prayer because we do just want to see Thee move mightily (if it's Thy will) and so if we really just move into a time of prayer now....
       "Huh?"

Ok, that's enough. You get the idea. Not all Christians fall into using all this jargon, obviously, but it's still out there folks. I've been in prayer groups where we're all chatting quite happily and suddenly, as soon as any praying begins, several people are transported back into the 17th Century. Who knew that prayer was a kind of Tardis???? I won't rant anymore. Besides- Adrian Plass has commented on this matter far more eloquently- and hilariously- than I! (If you've never read his books- go and do it now!).

2. Instant Pollyanna!

Do you remember the chorus 'Jesus, We Celebrate Your Victory'? Nice enough song- but there's one line that I baulked at from the very first '...and in his presence, our problems disappear'. I think that the writer meant that in comparison to being with Jesus- other issues fade, or that we shift our focus from whatever's stressing us out and onto Jesus. Whatever the intention- it sums up a neat, trite view of  Christianity that I really struggle with. Our problems don't just vanish with a magical 'Poof!' when we become Christians. Jesus himself warned us that it'd be tough going- and I'm pretty darn sure that centuries of persecution and martyrdom would back that up. Even on a more mundane basis, we still have crappy situations to deal with, relationships to work at, bills to find money for....... Let's keep it real, people. Problems in your life are normal. And sometimes they're really, really hard to cope with, Christian or not!

The next two are close relatives of that one (at least first cousins!)

3) Name it and Claim it!

If being a Christian meant that God has a pile of material wealth sitting there for each of His little Sunbeams, just waiting for us to say 'Yep, that's mine! Gimme, gimme, gimme....' then explain why the Apostles never rocked up on the Rich List. If having plenty of dough/ wonga/ spondulics or whatever is meant to be the natural state of affairs for a Christian, why wasn't Jesus cruising around Palestine on the latest model Donkey JC mark III.? This could get very theological- but it still bores down the fact that Christianity does NOT equal Jesus morphing into our personal Santa.

   Some Christians take the 'Mine!' attitude a little too far sometimes....

 4) Take Up Thy Mobility Scooter and Walk!

Right on the heels of 'Christians shouldn't know financial hardship' comes 'Christians shouldn't suffer illness or infirmity because Jesus came to heal' Score an extra douche-point if you hear 'By his stripes, we are healed' quoted as a justification for that stance. I've mentioned before that I used to frequent the forums of a Christian site and enjoyed some very interesting conversations/ friendly debates- and that now I only poke my head around the door once in a very blue moon to see if it's safe to go in yet. This is one of the reasons; a prevailing belief that if you're a Christian then you can't have any ongoing medical conditions- ESPECIALLY if they come in the form of mental illness. Depressed? Cheer up and Praise The Lord! 
(grrrrrrr). 
I actually read a post where the writer was telling another person that he shouldn't take medication for his schizophrenia because Jesus should be his healer- and to get rid of man-made things and trust God to heal him. Very responsible and not at all harmful advice ('Caaaaan you feeeeel the sarcasm tonight.....').
The view goes that if you're saved and ill or not in perfect health- then you must be doing something wrong and/ or your faith isn't strong enough.
Complete and utter pigswill!

Tell that to Joni Eareckson-Tada among others! Sometimes God achieves more through someone's 'infirmity' than their 'wholeness'.

Please don't think that I don't believe people can / should be healed by God. I've seen it happen and experienced it in a smaller way myself. My problem is with those who have this ongoing attitude.

Anyhoo... Don't ever tell another Christian that their illness or condition is a result of a lack in their Christianity. It's VERY unlikely to be the case. Don't be that twonk!



5) You want how much????

The Word of the Lord is free- but not if it's encased between the covers of a natty pleather bound-with-ribbon-bookmark-and-photos-of-Galilee volume. And don't get me started on what the keyring declaring your faith will set you back!!!

Ok- I don't have a problem with being charged a reasonable price for a Bible (the stuff inside is priceless- let's be honest!)- nor do I object to paying for such sundries with which I may choose to decorate my keys, my home or myself that state my faith in subtle ways (or screaming it aloud in multi-coloured badges, bracelets, and slightly creepy looking angel ornaments if the mood so takes).

What I object to is the fact that I can't go into any Christian bookshop and plan to come out with some goods without knowing I shall have to part with a week's worth of pay, the chance of being able to afford to eat for the next fortnight and sell my firstborn into seven years of servitude. Just for a mug, a wall plaque with Jeremiah 29.11 on it and a zip-up denim Bible case with integral elastic loop for a biro.

Seriously- what is it with 'Christian' stuff being so insanely expensive? Is it being shipped directly from Heaven via courier angel? Has each item been lovingly manufactured by cherubs who kiss each trinket and imbue it with soft cosy love? (Sounds like a toilet roll ad!).
Like bananas they have!

I'll stick to making my own, getting it from eBay or buying a heathen highlighter pen for 99p at the shop down the road instead of the identical-except-for-having-John 3:16 -printed-on-the-side for £2.50. I'll, y'know, pray over it or something to make it as holy as the 'Christian' version.


  I'll stick to Tic Tacs, thanks.



Conversely... 4) You'll pay me how little????

Flip the crazy overcharging coin over and on the reverse, you'll find the 'Hey Christians work for free' mentality. 

Now, I think it's brilliant when a Christian offers his or her services to someone (be that mending something, walking a dog regularly, painting someone's room, helping a struggling person through official red tape...whatever...) and does so without charging a penny- especially when it's their line of work and they'd normally be receiving a decent payment for that service.
That's fab- and I hope that we all do that in one way or another at times...hopefully preceded by a bit of prompting and a nudge from the Heavenly elbow that this person needs a bit of help.
I've certainly been on the receiving end of that sort of help many times from various Christians and am immensely grateful for their kindness and generosity of time, effort, and skills. It's not doing something for nothing that's the problem.

It's treating a Christian like a source of free labour simply because they're a Christian.
There used to be a shop near where we lived, which sold Christian literature, music, clothing, keyrings...all the usual paraphernalia. Hubby and I saw a leaflet in it once saying that couples were wanted to run one of these shops. Interested, we sent off for the details (yep, that's right. Snail mail. No .com to check out, no Google to search. Prehistoric, right?). When they came- we took one look and knew that we most definitely were NOT being called into that field! Everything looked great except for the fact that there was no pay. At all. Zilch. Zip. Nada. Employees (can you use that term of free workers?) were expected to 'Live By Faith'. It didn't matter if you had a family or not- you were expected to work full time running the business- and rely totally on God to provide you with food, clothing, transport, money for all your bills, your mortgage/ rent....absolutely everything.
That chain of Christian shops no longer exists. I can't say I'm surprised.

Now, I'm not suggesting that trusting God to provide for us is crazy (we've had to trust Him to provide in many areas for us over the years). Nor am I saying that God doesn't sometimes tell someone (an individual, group of people or an organisation) to take a leap of faith and trust Him to provide their financial needs along the way.
What gets me miffed is the expectation that because Christians are supposed to be 'nice, helpful' people, they should be expected to work for the pleasure of helping. I have to say that other Christians can sometimes be the worst for this. I've seen it a lot over the years. I've also seen Christians put into very difficult positions when they've suddenly realised that the person for whom they're providing a service is expecting that service as a freebie simply because they share a faith. Even worse when you know they'd never even hesitate to pay a non-Christian worker.

I think we could do with a little more of a Romans 4:4 attitude...

Now to the one who works, wages are not credited as a gift but as an obligation.

Basically, accepting someone's services for free when they've offered it for free is great. Expecting their services for free for no other reason than that they're a Christian is NOT great. It smacks of a nasty sense of entitlement.

Christian services here....and aaaaall freeee todaaaay!!!!!!

Ok, so those are 5 of my bug-bears. Some of those are real concerns and some are more 'first world problem' minor irritations. I suspect they speak more about my lack of tolerance than anything else- but, hey this is my blog and if I can't sneak a bit of self-indulgence in here, where can I?  

What gets your goat? What foibles of the faith rub you up the wrong way? Should it matter? When does something stop being a silly irritation and become an issue we really should face? Do we have things that we treat as issues that should only be seen as daft little matters to be ignored?

I'd be interested to know what you think. Leave a comment or drop me a line in the email - message box. 

Maybe overly flippant Christian blog writers annoy the hassocks out of you 😉

Don't be shy, now......

Shield of Faith...Helmet of Salvation... Corset of Camaraderie...

Ah, yes...the Corset of Camaraderie; the lesser known garment in the Full Armour Of God Springwear Collection.

Lesser known- but not unimportant.

You see, this particular garment needs others. I mean, have you ever tried lacing one of those things up all on your tod?

 "Puuuuuuuuuuuuuull !!!!!!!!"

No- nor have I. But you don't have to be a Victorian Miss to know that without an obliging buddy- you're never going to get that support underneath the rest of the clobber.

Hmmmm- buddies....support.... y'see where I'm going with this? No subtlety to see here, move along....

In my very first post, I mentioned/ blamed the guys in our Huddle group for encouraging me/ telling me to quit stalling, already, and just start the damn blog! Well, I'm going to drop them in it again. 

We'd been following a course on discipleship- leadership in the group, which has now come to a natural full stop. So we talked about the future of the group. Did we think we should quit meeting? Find another course? Start a penguin training class? Form a team of roller-skaters and train really hard for the Tokyo Olympics?

Well, we decided that we definitely wanted to carry on meeting ( although I'm still up for the penguin training...if anyone can get some penguins for us). We'd had a few people pop in and out of our group (other than us -1 leader, 2 ministers, 3 French Hens.... ok, I may be lying about the hens...) and were now left with Four 'core' members- two of the guys on whom I blame this blog- and another person of the she-male variety, meaning that there are now two men and two women.

So far I have restrained myself from suggesting that we form an Abba cover band.

So- what to do? We discussed what we could study, Bible- wise. Book study? Character study? Topic/ theme? All good ideas.
One thing comes back time and time again with this group- which is what makes it different, for me, than other groups I've been too whose purpose is very specific (Prayer group, Bible study, whatever).
It doesn't matter if we've followed a set programme, chosen random (by which I mean carefully thought out and Spirit-led, of course), topics, all met or just a couple of us, met once a week/ fortnight/ century..... the one factor that makes our group what it is, is (drumroll, please), support. It's the one place where we know we can share the good, the bad and the downright ug-er-ly and be assured that we're in the spiritual equivalent of Vegas.

What gets shared in the group- stays in the group.

That doesn't mean that I can't or haven't been able to share in other groups, or that others don't support each other. Rather, that our primary concern is a sharing of how we're getting on- a throwing into the pot of what's working, what's lifted us, what's causing us hassle, difficulties, pain or struggles. Victories and defeats, real or perceived..... we have the freedom to say how we feel and be honest (*gasp!*) about our failures and successes, worries and thoughts.

You know what else I really value about our group? That we're just ordinary people who want to be part of what an extraordinary God is doing.

This is turning into a far more waffly post than I intended- because something happened last night.

Don't get too excited- there wasn't an unscheduled visitation or a mass revival in my neighbourhood. In fact, it will seem incredibly 'meh'! (I can sense the disappointment in the Force!).

 I haven't typed this post all in one sitting. I began it a while ago, then added a paragraph yesterday afternoon. Last night I went off to our Not-The-Huddle group.
Fortuitous.

There were three of us last night- myself and my two butch and manly co-conspirators (pay me later, guys!). We had our usual 'Soooo- how ya doin' ?' chat and one of the Butch And Manly Dudes (seriously- you can pay cash or use paypal), asked us to list attributes of Jesus. Not surprisingly, we came up with a decent list.
He then asked us to list attributes of the 'perfect church' (refrained from saying 'one that doesn't have me in it'!).
Again, not surprisingly, those turned out to be attributes of Jesus too.

                             

So obvious and so simple but so easily forgotten.

Well, Other Butch And Manly Dude had been sharing a recent experience and about relaxing and going along with God rather than feeling the need to keep asking 'What do you want me to do?'

The connection was so obvious.

So we prayed- for the places where we are in our lives, for others and, mostly, for church. And that was the 'something' that happened. No bolts from the heavens. No voice saying 'Well done My Children' (nor, thankfully, 'Look, would you mind shutting up- I'm trying to watch The Big Bang Theory up here!'),

Nothing happened- but everything did. We were church. Real, proper church. Heartfelt, honest prayers that meant business. Now, it may sound weird- but I swear that there was a moment when something 'opened'...almost a release and, as Other Butch And Manly Dude said later, as if God was saying 'At last!'

It sounds like just another bunch of people praying- but we all felt the same peace- the same sense of quiet excitement and the same realisation that there had been something powerful in that room.

Cool, huh?

When we started to clear up and get ready to go, I stood and got a twinge in my leg. I have so many things wrong with me that it's only a matter of time before they put 'Syndrome' after my name- but I've had a particularly vicious spasm of pain that has grown more frequent and when it happens, it incapacitates me for a minute and leaves me breathless in how excruciating it is. The doctor hasn't been able to suggest anything that helps- so I've put up with it.
It used to only happen when I'm laying in bed- but recently it's taken hold at various points in the day and night and stops me sleeping.

Anywhoozle.... OBAMD reckoned we should pray. Both BAMDs decided that enough was enough- let's sort this out and pray they did.

There was nothing odd- no 'I feel the Spirit buuuuuuurning!!!!!!' moment. I felt no different at all.

(Except that the leg didn't actually hurt at that point)

We washed up the mugs and OBAMD gave me a lift home.
How was the leg?
It felt normal.

I went to bed- tried an experimental stretch (usually a sure-fire way to make my leg decide to throw a drama queen hissy fit).
Zilch.

I slept.

I woke up this morning.

Leg is acting like it's had a stiff talking to and has decided it had better behave itself.

Will it remain pain-free? Will another dose of prayer be needed?

Let's see shall we?

It was enough to give me respite when I so deperately needed it, that's for sure.

And THAT, ladles and jellyspoons of the jury, is why you need your Corset of Camaraderie. it's all very well going out into battle with your armour clanking away, but it's very chaffing and chilly on the skin without some support going on underneath. Something has to help hold you together under the big important stuff -that you know will be there when you've taken the armour off for a bit- or lost bits of it. Something to support you till you can put it back on or find it again.

Hey- you take the metaphor and run with it. Take what you will from it.

As for me- a big shout out to the Butch And Manly Corsets.

HAPPY NEW.... Oh. You've started without me...

Well, if the Blogging version of Social Services doesn't come and take away poor li'l Wearing A Fish and foster it out to a more deserving blogger Mummy, a part of me will be rather surprised!

So much for me saying what a bad blogger I was for neglecting my little corner of the internet- then vanishing for a few more months!

Ah well- life, stuff, y'know.

If there's anyone out there who still accidentally wanders in here- Hello! Thanks for dropping in. I'll try to make your visit worthwhile.

So- we're coming to the tail end of the first chapter of a new year. The banners are packed away. The gym memberships are beginning to look like expensive acts of self-delusion (not me- I've never joined a gym in my life!), the diets falling by the wayside (no comment) and the resolution list stares accusingly from the pages of brand new diaries. Cynical, huh?

When I was a kid I was always so keen to fill in the first page of my new Christmas Present Diary with a list of my Resolutions. Every year they looked pretty much the same. And I tried to ignore the obvious fact that I clearly hadn't achieved them the year before. Again.

Want to know what my main resolution was? (Get your hanky out). It was to change my personality. I had a couple of deeply unhappy years in school where I was bullied on a daily basis. I'd bet money and my Kindle Fire on the fact that the majority of those who made my life so utterly awful would be shocked and horrified at the notion that they were bullying someone. Making fun of the shy girl was just a laugh, after all. A bit of teasing. Mimicking her...well... she should take a joke, right? Laughing at the person who had to sit next to her, hiding her things when her back was turned, pretending to wipe a hand if it touched her, rolling eyes if she got a question wrong in maths (and ignoring the times when she actually wiped the floor with them in other subjects) and arguing over who was going to get stuck with her in a group or a PE team..... Just kids being kids. The whole day. Every day. You think they'd have more important things to be concerned with, wouldn't you? For a girl they claimed was so worthless- they sure as heck devoted a lot of their time to me!

These days, of course, those acts are recognised as bullying tactics and schools are so much more aware of the various forms it takes. But in the 70's/ early 80's...the teachers didn't notice or didn't bother to intervene.
In the end, the bullying got physical and nasty in a way that nobody could pass off as 'a bit of fun' or 'teasing'.
After having the worst attendance record in the class (I was very inventive in the illnesses and injuries I feigned to get out of school) for some time- I had a panic attack on my way to school after a morning off and simply not being able to face going, I detoured to my Auntie's house and came up with some story that convinced her to let me stay with her for the afternoon. I don't think she believed it- but she let me stay anyway. Within a couple of days, I watched a documentary in which a boy, bullied at school, had help when it was reported and the police paid a visit to the bully in question. It must have been pretty serious for police involvement- but it was like the proverbial lightbulb going on in my head.
This was actually bad? Not just messing about? Kids could be in trouble for doing that to someone?
The next day, the girl who was the absolute worst to me (I received so many kicked shins under the table from her every day that I'm amazed I could actually walk properly!), sat beside me in a lesson and made her usual too-quiet-to-be-heard-by-anyone-else- comment of  "God, you stink!"
To this day I have no idea what gave me a sudden moment of calm and fearlessness as I simply replied "You could get into SO much trouble for what you're doing to me" (I remember it verbatim. Odd, huh?) She gave me a shocked look and I told her that I saw a programme where the police went to the bully's house- and something along the lines of what she doing was against the law (I think I interpreted it that way, anyhow!).
She was silent and got on with what she was doing.
After that, she tended to ignore me- and she never actively bullied me again. Shortly afterward, I left the school to go to Grammar School anyway (with the delightful parting shot from several of my classmates of 'How did SHE get in and I didn't?). I didn't care- I was so happy to be leaving.
So- where does my resolution fit into all this?
Because I 'knew' that being the person I was made me unpopular and despised. I had no idea why but I 'knew' just as surely that if I could be a different person this time- it would be better.If I could become funny and outgoing and exactly like the Queen Bee of the group- confident and extroverted- then it would stop.

All I had to do was be....well....not me.

Playing your violins yet?









Crazy, isn't it? Anyone who has ever been bullied will tell you that it stays with you for years. Even when you're in a different situation, it niggles away there like a little brain worm. I loved my new school- wasn't bullied, harassed or treated negatively by any of the girls there at all (single sex school), but  I'd never put myself forward when we had to get into groups, in case they didn't want me with them...little things like that.

You can imagine what an impact discovering the reality of this Jesus guy had, can't you? It took a while for the fact of God's acceptance to sink in. Not just His love- but the fact that He accepts me exactly as I am- and that He doesn't want me to change my personality- but simply to help me become the best version of myself that I can be- to fulfill my personality's potential.... Mind blowing to someone who genuinely believed that they were clearly a bit rubbish as a person!
I can recall when it really hit me- when the reality of God's acceptance and how He loves WHO I am really sunk in. It was actually years after I became a Christian. I was alone, praying about something totally unrelated- and,,,, it just hit me.
And I sobbed.
And sobbed.
And sobbed.

And you would think that after that I became a bright new shiny confident superwoman, wouldn't you?

    Jesus' little sunbeam, me!







You would? Seriously? You clearly haven't read many of these bloggy wafflings my friend, if you think it's that simple!!!!
Yes, I am soooo much more confident than I was. Yes, I do have a far healthier view of myself. But....

Guess what....

It creeps back now and then- to a far lesser extent- but the little niggle can get there before I realise it.

I don't make resolutions as such anymore. I tend to have some goals I would like to achieve- usually, positive things I'd quite like to try or something to bear in mind (for example- the mantra 'Progress not perfection'). This year, I thought about it all and found myself looking at areas I'd not done well in the last year, which was a tough one for us; about some people's opinions of how I'd handled some situations or tasks, about how things would be so much better if my personality, if who I am was better- if I was less....me.

Oops.

It's a blooming good job that God is a patient sort of chap, isn't it?

So- my New Year Resolution...
I'm not resolving anything. I'm just ...being. Being me- remembering God thinks I'm awesome even if I don't, and accepting that I'd make mistakes in this life no matter what personality I have, so no beating myself up over it.
Honestly- think about it. Isn't it amazing? He thinks you are freakin' brilliant -even if He has to help you get some of the dust and grime off so the best of you shines out.

I love this being a Christian lark, I really do!


(Is a resolution not to resolve anything an oxymoron? Or is the moron just me? Answers on a postcard...)

Oooh....deep.

Citius, Altius, Fortius, Poopius: "Faster, Higher, Stronger, Exhausted"

Well, hello, mes amis! Long time no see!!!
I have been a bad Blog-Parent and have neglected Blog-baby for too long. What can I say...life, health, busy stuff....you know the score.
Anywhoozle, I'm in the middle of the school summer hols, the sun is shining (today, anyway), and we're doing something a little out of character, chez nous.

We're watching sport.

Do you have any idea how rare that is for us? You have to practically drag us kicking and screaming and tie us to chairs to make us watch football (with the obligatory exception of the World Cup- when we may actually deliberately look to see who won). Right now, of course, the Olympic Games are in full swing. There's something about the Olympics that grips even the unsporty among us. Something about the dedication and hope of athletes; the work and training; the 'Eyes on the Prize' determination, really touches that 'Be- The- Best- You -Can -Be' spirit within.

The idealism of it all is very stirring.

Not quite so stirring when you hear about the scandals of failed drugs tests, the arguments, the threats of banning, the condemnation of an entire government for their alleged endorsement of cheating, the criticism of money being spent on the trappings of hosting the event and so on. Those aspects leave a rather nasty taste in something that should be pure; the pinnacle of everything sportsmanship stands for. Kind of ruins it all.

Doesn't it?

Many people would disagree. Yes, there are some seedy aspects to some sporting events- and the Olympics is HUGE, so it isn't really a shock that the stakes are higher and the seediness, well, seedier. Does it stop us watching?
Nope.
Does it mean we all turn away from the Olympics on principal and refuse to have anything to do with something that has hints of corruption creeping around the edges?
Nope.

What does this guy have to do with sport, anyway? I'm glad you asked....












Why not?

Maybe it's because we all, deep (and not so deep) down desperately want to believe in something that is noble and fair and holds up the results of those who have pressed on and overcome. Perhaps we can see that the true spirit of the Games is alive and well in the majority of those taking part (trainers and 'behind the scenes' folk' as well as competitors). Maybe we simply look past the crappiness and focus on the glory.

Sounding a bit, y'know, Christian there for a moment!

Funny how sport and Christianity have such close ties, isn't it? Even the Bible uses sporting metaphors:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.  

 (1 Corinthians 9: 24-27 ESV)

Or how about Hebrews 12 1-2:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

                                                           Talk about eyes on the prize!

Have a snippet from 2 Timothy 2:5...

An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules.

('Nuff said!)

I could easily quote a ton more.

There's something very familiar in the Way Of The Sports Fan, too. Devotion to a team or person. Wearing symbols of that support/ devotion outwardly to show their allegiance. Gathering with those of the same mindset/ allegiance and group singing of songs during that gathering (hey, don't deny it.....I've heard enough renditions of you'll Never Walk Alone to know it's true. Interesting choice of song, huh? :) ).

Thankfully there are some differences. I've never left our Methodist church with friends only to encounter another group leaving the local Anglican church and end up in a punch up with them. Not yet anyway!!!

The biggest difference, though, is the attitude I spoke of a bit earlier.

The world can look past the 'bad apples' in the Olympics and see the people who genuinely push on to do their best. It can look past the arguing and politics of the organisations in charge and focus on the athletes taking part. It can look past the issue of whether this is the best use of a country's money and throw itself into the spirit of the thing. It doesn't mean that no one cares about those issues, nor that nobody speaks out about them.....it's just that, on the whole, the world can recognise what the Olympics are meant to be about and celebrate the intention and the real purpose.

Wouldn't it be fantastic if the world could do the same with Christianity? If it could look past the failures of those who fall publicly and spectacularly (whether as individuals or as churches/ organisations); past the rather confused values of some churches and see the Spirit of it (pun intended)..the people who do their best to live out the truth of it...who really believe and let that belief change them. I don't mean that those failures shouldn't be challenged or the shortcomings not addressed and dealt with. It would just be great if the world could recognise what the Church is meant to be about-and celebrate the intention and real purpose.

Hell of a challenge for us, too, isn't it? I'm quite daunted at the idea of being someone who should be showing the best of the Church to the world. I fall over the hurdles rather more than I'd like. I'm not in tip-top spiritual condition and sometimes I grab the baton and promptly charge off in completely the wrong direction with it, leaving my team mates wondering what the blazes I'm doing.

I'm not entirely sure I listen as well as I should to the Trainer, either, if I'm honest.

I rather suspect that when it comes to entering the Great Stadium (I'm on a roll with the imagery now...don't try and stop me!), I'll be less Usain Bolt and more Dennis from 'Run, Fat Boy, Run'.*

   Warm ups!

Better dust off the trainers and Just Do It, I suppose!!!!




* (Ever seen Run Fat Boy, Run?  Dennis is a guy who ends up committing himself to running in what's pretty much the equivalent of the London Marathon to, initially, impress his ex-girlfriend and mother of his son, (whom he jilted at the altar years before), and prove to her than he can actually see something through without quitting. He's out of shape and out of his league against his ex's new boyfriend who's an experienced runner, although a jerk. The more sensitive of you might not want to watch. It has some Naughty Words in it and a bare bum at the end. I know, right? Shocker!)

And they rode off into the sunrise......

Most mornings going to work, I catch a bus (don't worry- I always let them go again to roam free) but now and then I walk. It's a far enough distance to have to leave home early but more direct than the bus, so I'm not leaving too much earlier. A couple of months ago, Spring had started to take its job a little more seriously and stopped doing impressions of the Arctic. It also decided to switch the lights on a little earlier too, so that on the few mornings I decided to forgo the bus, my walk to work coincided with some rather lovely sunrises. I often pop my camera into my bag and once I saw the pinky-purple tinge in the sky, made sure I took it with me.

 Pretty, huh?








There's something very serene
 about those colours!

One particular view- this one.......

... made me think of that old cliche at the end of films where the hero rides off into the sunset. Except, of course, this is a sunrise.
My brain working the way it does- I ended up with the thought that, well, isn't it better to ride off into the sunrise? I mean, I get that the galloping off in silhouette towards the setting sun is symbolic of endings- the hero has overcome, the villain defeated, the girl won and all set to rights again- and the adventure has reached its finale. Nature's curtain is coming down on the scene.
All very lovely and I understand that they've gone off for 'happy ever after'- but sometimes that finale seems a little, well, final. Going off into the sunrise seems a much more appealing option at times. A sunrise is all about new beginnings- a new dawn, another day and all that. It holds potential- the general feeling that anything could be achieved. It's a very positive concept.Instead of the story ending- it's just beginning.

I sometimes worry that I may come across as cheesy radio God-Slot presenter (you know the type- '...and, as I looked at the undercooked sprouts on the plate before me, I realised that we're a bit like those sprouts- hard and unappealing but, you know, God still loves us....' ) but my thought process does tend to make those odd little connections.
At the risk of being a little Double- Gloucester, this was one of those moments. (It had to be, really, didn't it? Or I wouldn't be waffling about it here!)

Like millions of others, I'm happy to be on the Heaven-bound journey. I'm not going to be worried about where I'm seated at the Great Feast, or if my Mansion is detached, semi detached or terraced. I'll just be so damn glad to actually be there that I'll be perfectly contented to sit at the table near the kitchen door and inhabit a nice little bungalow just off the Heavenly High Street. So, maybe it sounds a little weird when I admit that sometimes....the thought of Heaven.... it scares me a bit. 

I thought I'd better whisper that in case I get walloped with a Bible. Maybe I'd better clarify.
I think that we tend to see Heaven as the Christian equivalent of riding off into the sunset. We've fought the good fight, shuffled off the mortal coil (nothing like mixing the Bible with a bit of Shakespeare), and have been told "Well done thou good and faithful servant".

What next?

Are we then going to look at each other awkwardly and say "Ermmm- well...this is nice, isn't it? So what shall we do now? Bit of an anti-climax, actually. Anyone have any games to keep us going for the rest of eternity?"
No, of course not- that's silly.
Maybe we'll all sit around on clouds looking outwardly serene, while inwardly, ignoring the fact that clouds actually give one a soggy bum.
That's just ridiculous.
Perhaps we'll be given a paper bag on entering Heaven- and understand why when we suddenly realise that eternity is a very...very....very....very....very......... long time and start hyperventilating in a panic at the enormity of it all.
I doubt it.

I know that it won't be any of those things. Truth be told though- I've absolutely no idea what it will be. My mind sometimes has a moment of mentally breathing into the metaphorical paper bag when it tries to grasp the idea of eternity in Heaven because, I suspect, I've seen it as the Sunset moment- the end of the journey and the full stop at the end of the sentence. I find it hard to reconcile that idea with the reality that after sunset comes night. Heaven won't be just an odd eternal night time. That much I do know.

After my morning walks to work, I'm now convinced that Heaven will be the sunrise to a brand new day- the start of the true journey- the beginning of the fulfillment of potential.It'll be the part where we say to God, "So....this is all going to be ok, right? Only, I'm a bit nervous" and He'll smile and say "My wonderful child, you have no idea! You're gonna LOVE this...."
And He'll take my hand and together we'll go off into the sunrise................

I can't brain today...I have the dumb!

Ever had one of those days (or lives, in my case!!!) when your brain seems determined to sabotage you? One of those days when it just won't shut up- but keeps spouting so many thoughts at you that you end up in a big mental tangle?

Ever had it tie you in spiritual knots?

What is the deal with that?

Last week I had to do something that was relatively straightforward- a formality to draw a line under an ongoing problem. It was no real biggie and the chances of anything going wrong were very remote.
Still, being  a sensible Christian, of course (!), I prayed about it before hand and on my way to the meeting that was to finalise things.

That's when my brain decided to play spiritual Twister. If you're not sure what that entails, it often goes something like this.....

Imagine I'm leaving on a journey. I set out down the road in the car. I pray for a safe journey. Then I may be a little more specific- 'Lord, give me skill and wisdom in driving today.'
Tootling along a little further, it occurs to me that God may very well grant wisdom and skill to me- but I'd just better be certain about other drivers on the road. After all, you don't know who's out there today! I add in a little extra..."Lord, grant skill and wisdom to other drivers, too."

Hmmm- what if the drivers are all skill-and-wisdomed-up but something out of their control happens? Something that driving skills and Solomon -esque wisdom can't handle? What if, for example, a random meteor drops in on us. I mean, it happened in Russia, right?
Better factor that in....."Lord, please protect us from events out of our control and keep us all safe."

That should do it.

Ok- the stereo's on, I'm enjoying trying to sing all the parts of Bohemian Rhapsody by myself and...oh. Hang on. What if I'm safe- and other people are safe....but something happens to the car? Theoretically speaking, that thing could get walloped pretty hard but I could walk away safely. Better ping another prayer up.
"Lord, please protect the car from any accidents. Please keep it protected from any damage on the roads..(wait- what if it gets bashed into while it's parked?)... and wherever I need to leave it. Please don't let any person or object cause any damage to it."

Oh flip! What if it doesn't get damaged but it breaks down? What if there's some sort of mechanical failure? We really can't afford to have anything go wrong with it- it's been an expensive month and  we need the car on the road....

Right...

"Lord, please let the car function on my journey today- on the journey there and back and all the bits in between. Let nothing break down, or go wrong."


By the time I reach the first junction, my prayers are along the lines of:
"Lord, let no male drivers, or female drivers, or elderly drivers or young drivers, or newly qualified drivers, or learner drivers or lorries, or vans, or cars, or mopeds, or motorcycles or pedal bikes, or pedestrians or dog walkers or people who have just popped out of their house to put the bin out, or people who have just popped out of their house to get the bin back in- walk in front of, behind, to the left, to the right, diagonally in any direction, on top (well, you never know) or fall underneath the car and......."

Ok- bit of an exaggeration, true. Especially as I can't actually drive!

You get the idea, though? By the time I'd got to the meeting I was attending, I'd probably prayed for every possible, unlikely and downright ridiculous eventuality I could imagine.

Why?

Why do we (some of us mere mortals, anyway) get ourselves all tied up in a tangle?

I'm not saying it's wrong to pray for specifics. On the contrary, it's important- at times vital- to be specific in our prayers. But I'm referring to this kind of unnecessary mental gymnastics that makes our prayers go around in convoluted passages and getting nowhere meaningful.

                                                  

Hang on...didn't I just pass this prayer a minute ago?

What is it that makes us sometimes feel as if we have to cram every little thing into our prayers? It's something I've been asking myself. Is it that I don't believe that God will know what I mean unless I spell it out VERY clearly for Him- a sort of bellowing into a spiritual earhorn?

                              

 "Speak up, dear, I'm getting on a bit, you  know!"

I'm pretty sure that's not it. I mean- God's GOD! He knows. 

Have you ever seen the (fabulous) film 'Labyrinth' with the late David Bowie as Goblin King, Jareth? In one scene, a group of goblins are in hiding and waiting for disgruntled teenager, Sarah, to say the right words for them to be able to spring into action. She frustrates them by coming out with a phrase that's close- but not what they're waiting for. At last she unwittingly hits on the exact combination of words and they launch into their mischief.

I'm also pretty sure that God isn't a goblin waiting for me to somehow phrase my prayer in juuuuust the right way before He'll act on my behalf. 

I believe firmly in God's goodness- His mercy, His generosity, His love...... so why on earth do I find myself with my knickers in a twist, spiritually speaking.(If we can have spiritual armour, I'm reasonably certain that there's spiritual underwear to be had somewhere!!!!)

What usually happens when I get my brain all Rubik-cubed is that I get to the point where I come to a screeching halt and say to God "You know what all this muddled stuff in my head means. Please take my prayers out of this gibberish and help me leave them with You."

At that point, I can almost picture God just smiling and saying "That's what I was waiting for. Quit stressing and leave it with Me."

Most of the time I end up laughing at myself. Most of the time I can hand things to God very simply and happily. But I still don't know why those Twister moments happen. 

Surely I'm not the only one? 

What do you think?

 Ouch!

Excuse me- your motives are showing.

Quick quiz for you today.

Why do you want to go to Heaven?

a) To be with the Lord and dwell in His presence forevermore.

b) To experience the eternal joy of being with my Saviour.

c) Because I just can't get enough of that holy vibe.

d) Because, quite frankly, the idea of going elsewhere scares the ever living crud out of me and leaves me in a cold sweat!


Would you judge someone who answered 'd' or did you put a big, fat mental circle right round that sucker?

I was thinking about the post I made a little earlier about an online discussion- and, inevitably, started recalling other conversations I'd had with the same group of Christians. It made me realise two things.
Firstly- that it worries me just how condemning we can be to each other. It's sad to see how- in a world that the Bible warns will get tougher- we're pretty close sometimes to putting the Enemy out of a job! We're handling the Discourage and Discord part of things quite nicely all by ourselves with no outside interference necessary, so much of the time. It's actually why I rarely visit the website any more. So much nastiness when hiding behind the anonymity of a keyboard.

"This command I give to thee...Thou shalt not troll the internet"





The second thing I realised is that I have a low-troll tolerance level- and tend to want to give someone a virtual smack round the head (never said I was a perfect Christian either!!!!) when they're pouncing on some poor soul who plucked up the courage to put a bit of their vulnerability out there and admit that they're struggling with something in their faith..

Anywhoozle..... one person had admitted that he'd become a Christian because he was scared of the idea of hell. He didn't want to miss his chance of Heaven. Did we think that that would make God angry?

Now, there were (there always are, thankfully) some very decent replies- but it shocked me that the overwhelming response was the computer equivalent of tutting and head-shaking.

 Didn't he realise that our main purpose is to LOVE God, for goodness' sake? We should be wanting to go to Heaven to enjoy the privilege of being in His Holy Presence. How selfish to think of his own fears- and he should sort his motivations out.........

There are some scary people out there.

I lied earlier, by the way. I said I had realised two things. It's actually three. The third being that I tend to disengage from those sort of arguments and just illustrate what I want to say instead.

So- my thoughts on our motivation in this whole Christian malarky....

Imagine this:

You're on a ship miles from anywhere. You've been enjoying the journey and getting a little of that sea air- when something happens. It may be a freak wave, it may be that you leaned a bit too far over- and ...SPLASH!

The next thing you know you're in the water. No one has noticed. The ship sails on without you and you're alone in the deepest ocean you can imagine. Everything in you goes into a frenzied panic. You can't swim- goodness knows how you've managed to stay afloat this long! Your life is flashing before your eyes and you know that you're about to end up as fish food.

Suddenly, above the sound of the sea, you just hear the rhythmic lapping of oars cutting powerfully through water. A boat appears over the waves and the man rowing with such skill pulls the boat alongside you. He looks at you and says "In you get!"

You look back at him, spluttering a little as you call above the splashing of your arms, "I can't!"

"Why not?" the man asks.

"It wouldn't be right!" you cough.

The man looks at you with a raised brow. "Oh? Why not?"

"Well," you say, coming up to gulp down some air while you still can, "I wouldn't be getting in the boat for the right reasons."

The man leans on the edge of the boat. "Well, I'm not going to force you to get in- it's your choice. But I'm curious- what reason do you think you need?"

"I don't know you for a start!" you gasp.

The man can't help a smile. "Do you really think this is the time for worrying about stranger danger?"

"I don't mean that" you wail, as you start to sink. "I mean....well...it's not right. I wouldn't be getting in the boat because I like you. I wouldn't be getting in because I want to spend time with you, I'd only be doing it so I don't drown!"

The man leans further over towards you and says "And you don't think that that's a good enough reason to climb into a boat?"

You shake your soaking wet hair out of your eyes, which sting with salt. "It'd be very selfish, wouldn't it? It'd only benefit me!"

As you spit water out of your mouth, the man speaks gently and quietly- yet somehow you can hear every word.

"I knew that you were in trouble. I knew that you couldn't fight this overwhelming ocean alone and live. I came out here with only one purpose; to save you. It was my choice. Now- how about you let me do just that?  How about letting 'living' be enough of a reason for now? We've a fair journey ahead. Why don't you climb in- and we'll take care of the getting to know me and working out the rest on the way?"

You look up through a watery haze- and take his outstretched hand.......